28 June 2007

Anxiety dream

Between 6:40 and 7:20 this morning, I had a bizarre dream. I was in a classroom filled with desks similar to those in my childhood school. A strange man - I think he was some sort of religious leader masquerading as a teacher - was speaking at the front of the room. The classroom was filled with familiar people, but of course I can't remember who they were. All I know is that I was waiting anxiously because I knew that soon, I would be called on to present some vital information.

My moment came and I rose to the occasion. I began speaking and realized I was discussing my dissertation and some methodological problems I was having. My peers listened, half-interested, but then a ruckus broke out from the back of the classroom.

There sat an on-again-off-again guy that I dated years ago. He had a boom box on the desk, and had started to play a romantic song. I looked at him with annoyance, then watched him produce flowers from under his desk, stroll right past me, out the door and into the next classroom where his shiny new bride was sitting. Apparently it was Valentine's Day and he had decided to get married. I was angry (about the music?) but eventually, the soulful strains were turned off and everyone started listening to my talk again. They even appeared fascinated by it, asking interesting questions that served to both help my progress and alarm me.

The dream ended with me in a canoe, as I desperately shoveled hard-cover books into every available space on my small boat. I don't know what the books were, only that I absolutely needed them. Even if their presence caused the vessel to sink. Then I woke up.

My interpretation?

1. The classroom desks: on an episode of That '70s Show that I watched last night.

2. The sort-of ex with the boom box: Someone that fit this description did just get married. And I was listening to really annoying music yesterday that distracted me from working.

3. The dissertation: Well, clearly I'm obsessed. But, at this stage, isn't that a good thing?

4. The canoe: It has been raining a lot lately...

5. The general anxiety: At this stage, isn't it necessary?

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